In 10 years time...

If it depends on my current mood right now, what I see myself in 10 years, I will be 33 years old, living in a foreign non-speaking English country with a small apartment, writing my 3rd book at night (I do not know whether it is a novel or a children's book yet), teaching children English as a foreign language on day light. I will be strolling in the evening, lots of road trips during weekends. When I get bored with that country, I will pack and move to another country. I will change country for every 3 or 4 years. Until I found the purpose of not moving.

I will find money, save money and spend it. My only routine will be that. Other than that, I will just go with the flow. Act on an impulse. Live on the tip of my toes.

Almost every peer of mine are either planning to settle down or panicking to find someone else to settle down.

I still couldn't really actually find the interest of finding your other half. I do believe in jodoh, that someone is made for you. But I do not really have the urge to 'search' for that jodoh. I believe if he is the one, he will fall in front of me and 'oh, be mine'. hahaha No. Not as fictional as that sounds but something similar to that.

I guess, this perspective of mine influenced by the relationships I see in my daily life. They are good examples; they are bad examples and they are the 'complicated' examples. The complicated couples are always on my mind. These particular thoughts on these complicated couples are taking majority of the places in my mind. These couples, generally are good but they have complicated issues that they couldn't really resolve. The issues freak me out. What happen if they happen to me?

I usually ignore these complications and delete them all. But in a relationship, you cannot actually delete them all and continue like it never happen. It doesn't work that way. Trust me, I've tried. The ending was really awwwwwwwwwwwwkkkwarrrdddd and a LOT of guilt left within me.

The thoughts that keep floating in my head are

I'm not really interested in relationships at the moment but I do believe them but seriously, 

will I end up living alone in a foreign country?

I'm just afraid that I would end up alone. But not really.

Do you get why it's complicated in my head?

Righttt?

That is all.

Signed,

Sarah.